Meeting Students Where They’re At: Building Real Connections and Creating Authentic Engagement
In one of our latest Podclass episodes, we dove deep into a concept that sits at the heart of effective education and youth engagement: meeting students where they’re at. This powerful approach isn’t just about physical presence but about connecting to each student's unique emotional and mental state.
Joining us was guest Lael Stone, a passionate educator and advocate for children’s well-being, who shared invaluable insights on making authentic connections with young people. Here, we’ll explore the importance of “meeting students where they’re at” and how it can transform classrooms into spaces of trust, growth, and genuine engagement.
The Core Idea: Empathy and Presence
At its essence, meeting students where they’re at means tuning into each individual’s current state of mind and heart. Lael explains that many adults, whether teachers, mentors, or parents, tend to approach youth with their own agendas—getting through a lesson, adhering to schedules, or managing behaviour. This approach, though often necessary, can create friction and disconnection. Young people, much like adults, want to feel understood and respected for who they are in the moment, not just as students who need to complete a task.
Lael's perspective reminds us that it’s crucial to approach each child with curiosity, asking, “Where are they at emotionally and mentally today?” When we do this, we’re not only showing respect for their individual experiences, but we’re also building a foundation of trust that encourages them to engage more fully in the learning process.
The Balance Between Structure and Freedom
One of the challenges educators face in meeting students where they are is finding a balance between offering structure and allowing autonomy. Lael highlighted that students thrive when they feel a sense of control over their own learning journey, something that aligns well with self-determination theory, which emphasises the psychological needs of autonomy, competence, and relatedness. This doesn’t mean abandoning boundaries or classroom expectations but rather integrating moments of choice within a structured framework.
Educators can provide this balance by allowing students to express what they need to engage effectively. For example, some students may need a moment to physically move before settling into focused work, while others may benefit from a quiet space to reflect and reset. By making minor adjustments that honour these needs, educators convey that they see and respect their students as individuals.
Autonomy and Trust: Giving Students the Tools to Succeed
A critical component of meeting students where they’re at is fostering autonomy in ways that enhance students' trust and responsibility. In the Podclass episode, Lael discussed how encouraging young people to identify what they need in order to succeed not only builds their self-awareness but also supports their self-regulation. This process, which is also reinforced in our Speaker and Facilitation Training overview, helps students connect with themselves, and it equips them to take ownership of their learning environment.
By embracing an autonomy-supportive approach, educators create a space where students are invited to be honest about their needs without fear of judgment. This not only benefits students in the moment but also has long-term impacts, as it helps them develop skills in self-management and self-advocacy that will serve them well beyond the classroom.
Acknowledging the “Vulnerability Guard”
Another powerful takeaway from the episode is the importance of breaking down what Lael calls the “vulnerability guard.” This guard is a protective layer many students develop in response to environments where they feel judged, unseen, or pressured. In an educational setting, this guard often manifests as disengagement, apathy, or resistance. Yet, when students feel genuinely seen and supported, they’re more likely to open up, which allows them to connect more deeply with their peers, their teachers, and the learning material.
Creating an atmosphere that encourages vulnerability requires educators to adopt a supportive role rather than a controlling one. This means listening more than instructing, allowing students to express their frustrations, and validating their experiences. As Lael put it, “Sometimes the best thing we can do is just listen and nod.” This simple act can signal to students that they are in a safe environment where their voices are valued.
Building an Environment for Success
In many ways, meeting students where they’re at is about creating a nurturing environment that acknowledges the whole person, not just the student. When educators prioritise connection and understanding, they help students reach a place of intrinsic motivation where learning becomes something they actively seek rather than something they endure.
Three Practical Tips for Educators
Start with Connection: Begin each day or lesson by checking in with students. Simple questions like, “How are you feeling today?” or “What’s one thing you’re looking forward to?” can help students feel grounded and seen.
Honour Their Autonomy: Offer choices whenever possible, whether it’s in selecting topics, choosing how to approach a task, or even how to participate in a group setting. Small moments of choice add up to big gains in engagement.
Listen Without Judgment: Make space for students to express themselves freely, without the pressure of fixing or correcting them immediately. Sometimes, all they need is a compassionate ear.
By meeting students where they are, educators don’t just make learning more effective—they make it meaningful. This approach supports young people’s emotional and psychological well-being and empowers them to develop the skills, self-awareness, and resilience they’ll carry with them into adulthood. As we continue to foster environments that celebrate individuality and nurture connection, we can drive the kind of transformative learning that lasts a lifetime.
